Perfect
by ShadeSpirit
Summary: Songfic. Her father had been this way to her for her whole life. Kurama said it was because her mother had died giving birth to her. “He must blame me for it.” she said, sadness weighing down her young, sweet voice.


Ok, this is a remake of the older Perfect. I noticed so many mistakes, and things I could add, so I just had to remake it! Sorry to everyone who had it as a favorite, or who had reviewed it. Hopefully, this one will be much, much better. As before, the daughter has remained nameless for now. But I am accepting suggestions for names since I have decided that this will turn into a story. Also, don't hate me for how Hiei acts! He stays in character until near the end. I hope you all like this improved version.

Disclaimer: I don't own YYH, or I'd be rich. But I do own this story and the daughter, so no copying!

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**_Hey dad look at me  
Think back and talk to me  
Did I grow up according to plan?_**

"Father!"

A young girl came charging down the hall. She was about 11, it appeared, and her hair was as dark as you could imagine, with a white starburst flaring out. She was a short, skinny little thing, with eyes as blue and gentle as you could imagine. Those eyes were now filled with pride and happiness.

"I did it! I killed a demon!" she said proudly when she reached a figure in black that sat in a windowsill.

Crimson eyes turned to regard the little girl and the bloody katana she held in her hand.

"Hn." was the only reply she got from him.

With a heavy heart, the girl turned and trotted back down the hall, her heart considerably heavier than it had been.

Her father had been this way to her for her whole life. Kurama said it was because her mother had died giving birth to her. Her father had loved her mother very much, and he had been crushed when she died.

"He must blame me for it." she said, sadness weighing down her young, sweet voice.

She didn't know much about her mother, since no one ever talked about her much. But the girl did know that her mother had been a beautiful fire demoness, with hair of gold and eyes of blue. Everyone always said she had her mother's eyes, full of love and life, unlike her father's, which were angry and closed off.

_**And do you think I'm wasting my time  
**__**Doing things I wanna do?  
But it hurts when you disapprove all along**_

Whatever she did, it wasn't enough. It felt like her father didn't even notice her anymore. Kurama was more of a father to her than Hiei was. And it hurt.

When she took up the katana as her weapon, no reaction from her father. When she asked him to teach her, he would always walk away. It was like he disapproved of everything she did.

_**And now I try hard to make it  
I just want to make you proud  
I'm never gonna be good enough for you  
I can't pretend that  
I'm alright  
And you can't change me**_

A few years later, when the girl was no longer 11, and was instead at the age of 14, the girl could be found in a practice arena, working on her fighting skills. Slash, uppercut, kick, dodge, punch. She trained hard, everyday, in hopes of maybe getting her father to notice. Sensing a presence, she halted, sweat dripping off her brow. She turned and eyed her father where he stood in the doorway.

Why was he here?

Maybe he had come to practice with her? A sudden surge of elation shot through her. He never had come before, but why show up then? A smile started to appear on her face. That just had to be it! It could be nothing else, could it?

But her father's cold stare made her smile slip right off. What was wrong?

"Put that away." he snapped out.

Confused, the girl did, frowning. "Father, what is wrong?" she asked

Hiei winced when she called him father. "You are going to be living with Kurama from now on." he said. Then he turned and left, without even a simple explanation.

The girl's mouth was hanging open. Why was he sending her away? What had she done wrong? She stared at the katana, feeling the hot prick of tears coming to her eyes. Maybe he didn't want her practicing the katana?

Her eyes suddenly hardened, not too unlike Hiei's own. It didn't matter. She would practice it anyway. He couldn't stop her.

Then, with a resigned sigh, she made her way to her room, packing her things, putting away all of her memories.

When everything was nice and packed, she looked back at her room. It looked so empty. There was no longer any life to it. The soul of the room was gone along with all of her possessions, right into her bags.

She turned when she heard someone calling her. Kurama was here, then. She hoisted her bags over her shoulder and walked to him where he stood in the hallway. From the corner of her eye, she thought she saw a black figure, but when she faced it fully, it was gone. Shaking her head, she left with the Fox.

_**'Cuz we lost it all  
Nothing lasts forever  
I'm sorry  
I can't be perfect  
Now it's just too late and  
We can't go back  
I'm sorry  
I can't be perfect**_

Kurama took her bags and left her in his car, then turned around and went back inside. But not before telling her to stay put and wait for him to return. So what does she do? Well, she follows, masking her spirit energy so she can figure out what was going on.

Peeking in the window, she saw Kurama and her father together in the entrance hall of their home.

"Are you sure you want her to stay with me, Hiei?" Kurama asked, eyes worried as he watched his best friend.

"Of course I am. She reminds me too much of Lylia; that she died. And I have to live with it everyday. I justtake it anymore. She looks so much like Lylia, and she even found Lylia's katana, practices with it everyday, in fact. Just take her away and out of my sight. It would be better if I never saw her again." he muttered out.

The girl's eyes were wide by this point, and her tears wereflowing freely. _He hates me. I knew it_, she thought.

She must have made a small noise, because Hiei glanced up sharply to see her looking in the window. When he met her eyes, she dashed off to the car, her sobbing clearly heard by the Koorime and Kitsune.

"Hiei, you should go apologize." Kurama said, scolding his friend slightly.

"No, I won't!" Hiei growled out. "I don't apologize to anyone, even her."

And then Kurama was left staring at an empty spot where his friend had once stood. With a sigh, Kurama left to go comfort Hiei's daughter.

_**I try not to think  
About the pain I feel inside  
Did you know you used to be my hero?  
All the days you spent with me  
Now seem so far away  
And it feels like you don't care anymore**_

Two years later, when the girl was 16. She was sitting in her room, staring out her window at the stormy sky. Rain splashed against the glass, fitting her mood perfectly. She was brooding again.

She hadn't seen her father for two years she'd been living with Kurama. Not since that day he had said those things. She still loved him, how could she not? Hiei _was_ her father. But she hurt. She hurt so bad she didn't think she could stand it sometimes.

She ignored the painful ache as well as she could. But she missed her father so much. Even if he hadn't paid any attention to her, he was still there, a constant presence.

But now, there was only Kurama. Sure, he was cool and everything, but he never talked about her father anymore, despite the fact she knew he went to see Hiei sometimes.

But he had said nothing about any of those visits, whether or not Hiei might have said something about her. So her father must not care anymore that she was even alive.

Now she let the tears fall freely, not stopping them. She cried almost every night, ever since she had last seen her father. And she couldn't help but cry. She couldn't scream, and she didn't get angry. She'd just breakdown. And she was ashamed of herself for it. No wonder her father hated her.

_**And now I try hard to make it  
I just want to make you proud  
I'm never gonna be good enough for you  
I can't stand another fight  
And nothing's alright**_

The girl is now 18, and is a member of the Spirit Detectives. None of the original members were on the team with her, though Kurama would help out occationally with the tougher missions.

The girl sometimes saw Hiei. But he avoided her like she had the plague.

But one day, she caught him alone, and he had no where to go.

"Father?" she asked cautiously.

Hiei whipped around, katana at her throat. But when he realized who it was, he quickly backed up, his expression hard. He turned to leave.

"Wait." his daughter said, holding out her hand.

So he stayed, and turned back to face her. His eyes were still angry and closed off to her. Would he ever be open with her?

"Why haven't you said anything to me? Why do you always leave?" she asked.

"Because I choose to."

That hurt. It hurt worse than any of the things he had said before.

"But I'm your daughter! Can't you tell I adore you. despite what you have said about me? I love you! Can't you see that? I miss you so much, but there you stand, closed off to me. Why can't you talk to me? Don't you love me?" she asked, almost yelling by this point.

Hiei looked her right in the eye and said, "No." And then he was gone.

There was shock on her face as she dropped to her knees. And again with the crying. She hated herself at this point. There must be something wrong with her. That must be why. That could be the only reason why Hiei didn't accept her.

_**'Cuz we lost it all  
Nothing lasts forever  
I'm sorry  
I can't be perfect  
Now it's just too late and  
We can't go back  
I'm sorry  
I can't be perfect**_

Three years later, and the girl was now a woman, and 21 years of age. She had seen her father around, but neither had said anything to the other. And she was still convinced she was flawed.

Koenma had called them in. A new mission. They got the details and left.

Some demon was going around, killing humans. Usually a psychic. And it was stealing their powers to add to its own. It had to be stopped.

Her team entered the castle where the demon was located at. But then the air became foggy and the woman found herself alone, separated from her team members. She called and called, but no one ever responded.

She soon found herself before a door. Cautiously, she opened it. Each of her team members were laid out before her on the floor. All had their eyes closed and a bloody gash across their throats, pools of crimson blood spread out around them.

Taking a deep breath, she looked up at their killer. And her eyes widened.

The man was short, with short spiky, brown hair. His eyes were narrow and were a lurid violet color. But he looked so much like Hiei.

"You're team members have failed, and you are next." the man said, voice menacing and arrogant.

Then he charged, katana raised. And the woman did nothing in return. She couldn't. He looked like her father. How could she attack someone who looked like her father? Even with her mind screaming at her to block, to dodge, to do something, her heart was crying out with pain. She didn't even cry out as she felt the katana pierce her stomach and shoot out from her back.

As she fell to her knees, she could hear the demon's laughter. But as the blackness closed in, she couldn't help but forgive her father.

_**Nothing's gonna change the things that you said  
Nothing's gonna make this right again  
Please don't turn your back  
I can't believe it's hard  
Just to talk to you  
But you don't understand**_

_Father, you know you can't take back the things you said, but I forgive you. I just wanted to be perfect for you, but it's like I'm flawed. I wish I could have been the perfect daughter for you. Really, I wish I had never been born. Then you would still have mother. It isn't like you need me, after all._

Hiei frowned as he heard those words. It was his daughter. But what she was saying was scaring him. He tried to reach her, but where her mind once was, he could find nothing. There was only a blackness, an empty void.

No matter what he had told her before, or what she had overheard, he did care for her, so much it hurt sometimes. And he cursed his nature, because he was never able to show it. He could find no way too. And it didn't help that she reminded him so much of Lylia.

So he had sent her away, wanting to sift through his confusing emotions, and try to get them under control. And he didn't know how much he agonized over his decision.

She didn't know it, but since he had sent her away, he had always been watching over her.

But now he could no longer feel her mind.

It was two days later when he got the news. The bodies of the team had been brought it. They were obviously cleaned up, with the slashes on their necks hidden from view. Then he saw the body of his daughter. She looked so small and frail, something he knew she wasn't. But when he saw the small, soft smile on his daughter's face, he almost broke down right there.

That must be from those thoughts she unknowingly sent him that night.

Unwilling to look at her body a moment longer, he retreated to his room. But even then, he did not cry. The last time he had cried was when Lylia died.

_**'Cuz we lost it all  
Nothing lasts forever  
I'm sorry  
I can't be perfect  
Now it's just too late and  
We can't go back  
I'm sorry  
I can't be perfect**_

Hiei didn't even go to his daughter's funeral on the day it was held, along with her team members. He couldn't bear it. And he wouldn't come out of his room, which worried Kurama, but Hiei found that he didn't care. He hadn't even made up with his daughter; apologized about those things he had said. And it cut him deep.

He was exhausted. He hadn't been able to sleep since that night of his daughter's last message. But as he lay in his bed, a calm fell over him, and he slept.

And he dreamed, which was odd in itself.

He walked through a large forest, filled with large oaks and dogwoods. They were his daughters favorite trees. He was following something that was calling him, whispering to him, urging him on. He entered a small clearing that had a fountain in the middle, flowers sprouting around everywhere. Roses, chrysanthemums, and irises. Her favorite flowers.

And she was there.

As he stared in shock, she flowed forward, her feet not touching the ground, wrapping her arms around him.

"It's ok, father. I forgive you. Everything you have ever said, I don't care any more. I was allowed to visit you one time before I had to leave. I hope you can someday accept me, even though I'm flawed." she said, stepping back.

"No. You aren't flawed. You're perfect. There is no one better than you. I just couldn't express how I felt. So I sent you away." he said quietly, trying to express everything he wanted to tell her, not looking up at her.

"I'll always be with you, father. But Koenma says I will be reborn again. In 10 years, look for me." she said, and then she faded.

_**'Cuz we lost it all  
Nothing lasts forever  
I'm sorry  
I can't be perfect  
Now it's just too late and  
We can't go back  
I'm sorry  
I can't be perfect**_

Hiei shot up, wide awake.

She had come, to forgive him, and to apologize for something she wasn't guilty of. How could she have ever thought she was flawed? But he had set her to rights. And he had seen her, that one last time like he had wished. Then he let it all out.

He cried.

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Ok, so, was it good? I hope so...let me know in a review, ok? And I'll be getting to work on the story soon.

Sighing out

Shade


End file.
